POST XXXI


Everything


     I am hanging here at my friends house, the one I have been staying ay all day… well the police and who ever are making it look like I am mentally crazy.  Oakley reminded me today hoe yo lock the doors, .and since ive been here the dogs have newer got out beside one time. Today three time and that is not like the dogs Oakley Has been fasting to make it look like that he doesnt smoke Tina. He does, and he has done this since the day we met. 

     I typed all this out and my phone froze. But there are times where Oakley says I didn't do anything, or when situations didn't happen. I have great memory and I am not wrong most of the time. He started off nice but has turned so twisted. He has got close to me to say to people that I'm the bad and crazy one. I am aware of the stuff I post.  I don't have much time left so.... I wish my life was different and not this psycho mess that's stringed by others. 

     Oakley ignores a lot of my defects. My sensory problem. He always put more noise on when I want no noise. When I'm uncomfortable he always brings home strangers and makes me so miserable. There is nothing I can do to make him understand how to recognize my anxiety. 

     What am I meant to do? I have always had the intuition that there was someone lingering around Oakley's house. And I was right. I have proof that there is someone there. Anyways, if I get arrested tonight based off anything I need you to know that everything was tampered with. How else would the police get evidence before they even know to arrest me? It's off. Everything a joint my entire last year is off. It's ass if I was just the puppett.

     Another thing that is so fantastic about this entire ordeal is that the cops harass me to no end. They will let others slide for what they do  when breaking the law, it for me, nope. Exiled. There is a thing that happens when I go from one place to another. The cops will follow me with their lights off. They do this a lot actually. A whole lot. What does the Port Orange Police Department have against me? 

     I'm starting to think they are just bored? They are infatuated with me? They have a grudge against me? Why waste so much money on me? Why am I so special to them? There are others do way worse shit that I am and why am I targeted?

     Now Oakley thinks I stole his drugs. Hee is throwing my stuff to the porch he said. He won't believe me. He won't take my answer as my given word and ended my friendship just like that.  He gave m a  second chance to tell the truth which is did. I had no part in stealing anything, and he did not like that response. 

     He has been super vindictive lately and it's not cool. What happened to the Oakley ai met all those months ago?

     Now, here I am. Sitting at Tom's house and in another trap. Once again, I have been lead astray and into the woods. The wolf in sheep's clothing is Tom this time and he always thinks I am just going thru a paranoia skit. A skit is fake yet seeing something and knowing is the truth. He does the "Deaf Game" a lot and he closes the door when he knows in all reality that I like to know what's going on around me. Right now it's killing me that I can't see out a window. 

     I need to get out of this circle of doom that I have created. I need to stop talking to this fake people that say they care about me yet they put me in danger. There are ones that copy my phone and have my information. They are the ones that get made at me for telling my truth and what I am expereienceing.

ne crazy when I know that something is going on.. And of course, I think Tucker is behind it all. 

     Yet, my feelings for him do not change in the slightest. 

     I just overheard Tom talking to a client on the phone about how she works in a basement. That sounds to me like Oakleys house. Theres this thing. Sop, If a person doesn't knock where I can hear them, they they don't exist. If someone is trying to get my attention and once again it's in a slight whisper, I am not going to pay them any mind  at all. If my fake friends say they do not hear it, then so do I. 

     I still can't wrap my head around how authority figures can waste all this money on just one person. Tom does this thing where he coughs and he is trying to block out any sounds., it's adorable. The wall I am leaning one is shaking.. Sometimes the shaking is me beause my nerves but other timed it's the foundation and structure. There is no way that my old apartment, my moms house, Oakleys house, and now Tom's house just oddly shake. 

     The Police Department of anywhere is corrupt. They have to use negative tactics to get people. Is the crime rate so low that you have to create crimes within your own doing> That is the only thing that makes sense now. Why me? Petty drug use. Big Deal. I have done so little in this life, yet I want to do so much more. If you have to blame anyone on the mental health state that I current have, you can blame the Police Departments of the cities I lived in. 

     Or you can blame the health department. Back in my very bad paranoia days I had this theory that anyone with HIV was in a cult. The health department and the HIV cult were working together to make sure that I was strong enough to be part of the community. is that so funny to even think about? Like, who am I Alli Mayfair-Richards from American Horror Story: Cult

     The answer is yes, yes I am. 

     I think it is also weird that these people that I associate myself with don't do anything really. It's all mundane bullshit. Walk around, scroll on phone, sit, and the best of them all: have a dog. Every Tina user I have met has had a dog. Every single one! I want a dog. I have wanted once since the beginning of this year. 

     You know what, since my phone gets clones a lot and all my information get leaked to others. Whatever the authorites try to say I did, which I didn't do. I have no drugs, I have nothing to my name right now. It could have easily been one of these losers that think they are slick. When my phone does get cloned or whatever, it turns all fizzy., the screen I mean. 

     These games and tricks that are used are unfathomable. It's like cheating at UNO or Gold Fish. All this stress that they have me go through will bring on a heart attack soon. I hope it does because at least then I will have suffered something tragic beside  There is something off topic, well two things. False peepholes and my friends fake jobs. 

     My friends that smoke the drug in Port Orange area have fake jobs. Either they have fake jobs, or have real jobs yet they are working for the police. Like Oakley, he works at a restaurant,, yet he always has time to be on his phone and be on the gay hook up apps. Then there is Tom who works for the healthcare department and make sure people are taking their pills. But In reality, what if he is in the same boat as Oakley. 

     False Peepholes are the next best thing. There are some places I go to and the doors have weird peepholes. It's like a reversed microscope glass. When I look at the hole from far away I can see more images. When I look close up as it is intended, then I can't see anything. This is the weirdest thing I have experienced in my life, and I've seen some weird things. 

 

     The entire point of this post that everything is not what it seams. Friends that aided you when you were down could have been the ones that were the reason you were there in the first place. And as I am typing this I noticed that Tom is talking to someone on the phone and calling him sir. It could just be me leaping to any reason to make things not real, but here I am. 
     The last note I am going to go with is what Oakley said to me. He said I would never kick my drug habit and I will be doing it till the day I die. My teeth would be gone, and I would be just like the rest of them. But that piece of shit needs to realize he has no IDEA who I am. I will kick this drug addiction and I will make sure my life is better than his when I am close to 60. 
     I am the only one that can say if I will have a bad future. 
     Me.
     11.2.23
     ✌🏽

 


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