Table of Content

For Legal and Privacy concerns all names in these blogs have been changed. 


     This place, again. I never wrote about the first time I went to jail . but this is this is not the place for that. I swear to god. That I have not been so miserable in all my life. But you reap what you sew I think that is the terminology. And boy. Did I deserve this.

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     I am no longer the user in the constant life of an addict. I am the rig. I am constantly filled, smoked, then empty. It's a never ending cycle of torture. Why do I constantly go through it? Because that's just who I am. I am an addict, made by another addict who tried to warn me of the life. 

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     It started when I was looking over the lake behind Tom's house. I saw many cop cars in the darkness. I said nothing because they would just roll their eyes. Yeah, you bet. It's a fucking TRAP! I had no part of any of this shit that happened. Tom bought a lot of stuff and I should have known something odd was up when him, his ex, and his friend started talking about police raids. 

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     I am hanging here at my friends house, the one I have been staying ay all day… well the police and who ever are making it look like I am mentally crazy.  Oakley reminded me today hoe yo lock the doors, .and since ive been here the dogs have newer got out beside one time. Today three time and that is not like the dogs Oakley Has been fasting to make it look like that he doesnt smoke Tina. He does, and he has done this since the day we met. 

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     It's ironic that this post is called what it is after the last one was called Safe Place.. Everything comes together eventually, and I will always see the light coming from the smallest crevice. The shadows of these demons are always coming to me at night.

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     Here I go. So the tactics of the Port Orange Police Department or anything else of that magnitude is corrupt. I know that I am not the best looking person in the world.  I know that sometimes white lies come from my mouth. I know that This iw all my outlook of life and not yours. But I swear on my grandfathers deathbed, I have been harassed by the Port Orange Police Department for months.

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     Well here I am. The circle the drain part of my life has come to be. The water is all flushed out and there is nothing stopping it. Why am I even here in the first place? The directions I have got myself in. All the thoughts I came up with and the last one was not the right move.

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            It’s crazy that this is the first post on here since July 17th. I know I said in the last post that I would be back to post later. Yet, that was halted by my overprotective, loving mother. You see, I was Marchman Acted again; well Ex Partee. Once again, I was sent back to the place, I resented the most; SMA. Which I would now count it as a home away from home.

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     I have nothing to say. Nothing really, I think, that I have come to that peak place. Everyone talks about destiny. About how life is whatever you make it to be. Every choice that is made is made, there is no way you can go back and undo it. I am fine with the choices I have made, at least they were honest. Everyone tells white lies,  EVERYONE.

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     Grease is the word. I have no idea why There Are Worst Things I Can Do popped in my head when i woke up this morning, But it was. I fell asleep thinking of something not so good for my mental health. It was a thought of him. I think I am going to stop saying his name. I remember Will telling me that I should never say my ex's name. That was the way that I would get over him. 

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      The time is now…haha. Its 2:40 in the afternoon. This is one of the latest in the day post i have wrote. I have been watching The Boys for most of the day, it rained pretty hard earlier which made my plans to go to the card store unlikely. Today just has been a relaxed day. I have been working on my website, blogs, my other stuff. 

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